An American woman living alone told of an unexpected call from her ex-husband. The sudden appearance of a man from the past made her think about the right thing to do.
"I suddenly writes to me ex, that he needs to wash and sleep and whether he can do all this at my place," she says. At the same time, he has a family: a wife and a small child.
On the one hand, feelings for the ex are in the past, and there is no particular reason to refuse him. After all, each of us may need help. On the other hand, the return of a man from the past in her life can cause unpredictable consequences.
How did this happen?
The former man, she said, works around the clock and is apparently so busy that he can't even go home to rest. "As I understand it, he doesn't have time to stop by to wash and sleep at home, and I just happen to live near his work," she adds.
Obviously, the situation is complicated. What is the ex's motivation? Could it be that he really is in a difficult situation and is seeking temporary asylum? Or does he have other motives?
Ethical dilemma
To accept or to refuse? This question presents the woman with an ethical dilemma. Helping a person in need is noble. But what if that help could lead to undesirable consequences?
For many Americans, as for people around the world, the past is something difficult to part with. It comes back to us in various forms: through memories, through old friends, or, as in this case, through former partners.
What are the risks involved?
Before making a decision, it's worth weighing up the pros and cons. Should you let your ex into your home, even if he only asks for a chance to rest? Perhaps this could lead to new difficulties in the relationship or even cause conflicts with his real family.
In addition, it's worth thinking about your feelings. Does she have unfinished business with this man? Could the sudden appearance of an ex trigger a storm of emotions or memories for her?
What do the experts say?
Psychologists and relationship experts recommend caution when bringing ex-partners back into your life. It's important to protect your boundaries and understand your feelings.
"If you decide to help, make sure you have clear boundaries and that you are willing to defend them," says Linda Taylor, Ph.D., a psychologist. "If you feel you can't say no, or if you have any doubts, it's best to say no."
So, to let in or not to let in?
Each person is unique, and the decision depends on the specific situation and personal feelings. If a woman feels she can help without harming herself, it may be worth it. If, however, she fears possible consequences or doubts her feelings, it is better to proceed with caution.
In any case, the most important thing is to take care of your well-being and respect yourself.
