My mother raised me alone. I always wanted us to have a full family, but my father never came back to us, and my mother never remarried.
For some reason I had the attitude that if I did have a child, he would have to grow up with his mom and dad.
I got married six years after graduating from medical school. I met a doctor colleague at the city hospital. Everything started with an ordinary romance. We hid our relationship from colleagues. We got married a little later. We didn't spend much time together. My husband worked in a hospital and a city polyclinic. With the lapse of time I left the hospital, got a job at a military clinic and worked part-time at a private clinic.
Then I got pregnant and had a baby. I had twins. My maternity leave turned into a sleep deprivation. I was exhausted and could not stand up.
I went to work relatively early in order not to lose my qualifications. But I had to rearrange my schedule so that the little ones were not left alone.
And that's where the problems started. The husband certainly wasn't ready for kids. The fights started. It got worse. The years flew by. Now the children are already in first grade. But the husband has turned into a very irritable and hot-tempered man. He just growls and hollers at the children. He stopped communicating normally with me and the children. Everything is wrong for him: the food is not like that, the children do not behave properly. Periodically he gets drunk for no reason at all.
I held on to my husband until the last moment... and now I wonder if I did the right thing. He definitely does not love the children - he just yells at them, does not play, does not communicate. He's got this look on his face... like we're to blame for all his problems. The kids are afraid of him. He's been cold to me for a long time. Maybe he's got someone else... Every day I want to talk to him about our future, but I keep putting it off. I know how this conversation will end... We'll get a divorce. On the one hand I want to divorce him, but on the other hand I'm very scared...
