Hello. I would like to pour out my heart and ask for advice and opinions. So, I guess I'll start.
I'm 39 and married, my husband is 48. Together for 19 years. I have two children - born at 22 and 25. My problem is connected to s*x, lack of attraction from my husband. Other than that, we're great.
He's adloved, has a decent and well-paid job, I work in the construction industry as head of the department. My kids don't need anything, we go on vacation twice a year, we spend weekends together with my husband (we walk, visit various cultural events) but in the evening when it comes to bedtime, we have problems. He has a problem - he does not want me. This has been going on for three years.
At first it was not so noticeable, but then everything just increased. There were conversations - after them there was s*x, but after a short time it stopped and was generally unsightly and distant from what it used to be. It was as if I was forcing him to do it - it looked like this.
I began to look for problems in myself - I'm not overweight, rather a lush figure, I take care of myself of course, cosmetics, beauty salons, sauna, restrictions on food.
And here a year ago, signed up for fitness (I thought sports would reduce the desire) - at first there were sessions with a trainer, later began to exercise myself (3 times a week consistently, 2 on weekdays and 1 on Saturday). I thought that this would somehow improve the situation, but no.
And then I met a man in the gym, which later became a lover, if you can call it that.
About him: he is 30, not married, no children, not a bad job, nice and trustworthy in general, his figure is not bad, also goes to the gym.
It all started by chance when I asked him if he was done on the exercise bike - I wanted to sit down. And then we began to talk a little on different subjects, because we crossed paths (were in the same days in the gym). Then we drank coffee and at some point got personal. After a while we were already having sex - then I lied to my husband for the first time, and I still feel guilty, but I can't help it.