In the era of globalization and massive changes in society, questions about the domestic responsibilities of men and women remain on the agenda. Studies have shown that many American families face the same problem: the husband does not want to cook or do household chores.
Lisa, a 35-year-old New Yorker, shares her experience. "My husband and I work, but I spend a lot more time at work. He works from home and seems to have more free time, but there's no way he can share household chores with me." She admits that she often feels overwhelmed and exhausted.
Many men growing up in traditional cultures believe in stereotypes about "masculine" and "feminine" roles in the family. For them, cooking, cleaning the house, or taking care of the children may seem like "non-masculine" tasks.
Dr. Linda Stevenson, a Chicago-based psychologist and family counselor, explains, "Many of our beliefs and ideas about role behavior are formed in childhood. If a man grew up in a family where the woman did all the household chores, he may carry those attitudes over into his own family."
But the world is changing, and many modern women are striving for equality in all areas of life, including domestic responsibilities.
"I feel like I have to do double work," says Marina, a 28-year-old mother of two from Los Angeles. "I work, and so does my husband, but when I get home, I do household chores and he relaxes or watches TV."
So what can be done to change this situation?
Dr. Stevenson recommends starting with a frank conversation with your partner. "You need to explain your feelings and needs and show how it affects your well-being and family relationships."
Another method is to create a schedule or to-do list. If both partners see their responsibilities clearly, it can help take away tension and prevent conflict.
You can also see a professional for couples therapy. "Sometimes you need an outside perspective to understand and solve problems," says Dr. Stevenson.
Ultimately, solving the problem requires effort on the part of both partners. As the proverb says, "where there are two, there is strength." A truly loving partner will be willing to change for the sake of marital happiness and harmony.
