Hello, girls. I just don't know where else to turn with this, and I need to tell you. It's a very sensitive topic.

I have been living with my husband for 9 years, he is 35 and I am 38. The thing is, he has completely stopped observing basic hygiene techniques. Always greasy hair, smells like sweat, stinks of the feet terribly. The most frustrating and scary thing for me is that he can easily get his panties dirty in poop and not wash them himself, but throw them in the wash.

I started to tell him, at first I tried to be tactful, then I called him and showed him, and he has one reaction: "It's not me!" I am not angry! And who?!!! Я!!!

No s*x is out of the question anymore, he smells disgusting. But I see that he goes to the bathroom every night and regularly throws his shitty underwear. What is he washing in there? There's a mournful rash under his fingernails, all the time. He cuts his nails once a year by promise.

He doesn't get his hair cut. He has no time. He works two jobs. He's a security guard, day and night, and a cab driver. But he works as a cab driver because I scolded him, because he can spend his last money on cigarettes, and he can't pay for his son's school meals or his home-schooling, or buy something tasty to drink tea with, no. Only cigarettes. And there's a lot more...

⠀ I got tired, and yesterday when he picked me up from work I started talking to him about it. But I couldn't get through to him, all I heard was that it wasn't him, I had to look at myself...

⠀ In short he freaked out and left. I know for a fact that my mother-in-law wants to talk to me and make peace with me. But I don't want to reconcile. I'm only 38, why should I wash my shitty underwear not my kids but a grown man, but how to tell her that I don't know. What's the best thing to do, file for divorce?