I dated my husband since the 10th grade, I had my first serious relationship with him. After studying in another city we got married, bought a plot, built a house together and had two children.
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During our entire relationship I had (I won't say lovers, because I didn't sleep with them) two affairs on the side. There was only kissing and going to the movies. Now I had my third affair on the side behind my husband's back and it came down to bed and we have been dating for 1.5 years.
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I realize that I am falling in love with my lover! He also has a family and three children! There is no spark in the family either. "According to him" I didn't check, he caught his wife and they haven't had sex since the birth of their third child. And I began to realize I wanted to live with a lover.
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I started hinting at his depression, that I missed him, I felt bad without him. He said, "Don't make me choose between the children and me!
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After a short time I had another breakdown because of boredom with him, we see each other very rarely, once in a month and a half. In correspondence I hinted that I would like a serious relationship with him, to which he told me to give him a month to divorce his wife and myself to divorce my husband. I was very frightened and started to say that our children were very young: my daughter is 9 months old and his is 2 years old.
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I tried to live with my husband for a while with scandals so he would leave me, because I didn't have the courage to say that I was the first one to leave him. I want me to live alone for a while after the divorce, so that my husband doesn't realize that I'm leaving because of my lover.