In December I decided to look for myself, and with renewed vigor I decided to look for a job in the spring of 2020. In my dreams, I thought I'd be fighting off tempting job offers, trolling hard at HR and management...

Laughing through my tears... If I had known how things would turn out... If I had known then what a mess my job would be in the spring... I naturally would not have quit.

I spent the winter on "self-improvement", reading professional literature and all sorts of motivational books. Now I realize that I was just wasting my time.

To understand my level of despair, just know that I even called my former boss and asked him to come back. He said that there was nowhere to go back to... Not just my place was cut, but the whole department was disbanded. I worked for a small provincial newspaper.

I had to remember my youth. Even took out my old hair clipper. Rewatched videos on YouTube. Now I cut people's hair at home. I'm not starving, of course, but all the money I make goes to utilities and food.

How long will it all last? The question is rhetorical - it's already clear that for a long time.