Right now everyone is carrying around this "self-love" thing as the one-size-fits-all remedy that will make you popular, rich, beautiful.
And then comes the reality.
That nothing changes with self-love.
Millions do not fall from the sky, and oligarchs do not stand under the balcony, and even a banal promotion is not offered. And no one gives me presents. Where are my awards? I've been learning to love and accept myself and I'm ready to get my prize, here's the card number.
Self-love begins with acceptance, but not self-love.
With acceptance of reality. With the fact that you don't love yourself.
And you don't love others.
You have no experience of loving yourself. And for others.
And what you, like most people, take for love is a neurotic attachment to get rid of loneliness. It's bitter. But it's true.
And self-love doesn't begin with mantras, or visualizations, or thousand-dollar panties.
Self-love begins with humility.
With the recognition of your equal worth.
That you are just as important in this world as any other person.
Your thoughts, your desires, your feelings are just as important as the thoughts, feelings and desires of others.
Self-love, like love for others, begins with recognition.
With getting to know yourself.
Self-love begins with caring.
With comfortable shoes and warm tights.
With a delicious, fresh food.
With a timely payment of utility bills and a good relationship with the neighbors.
With the feeling of own safety.
From going to the doctor on time, not from making a hero of yourself, dying in the office for fear of losing a few thousand rubles.
Not walking through a vacant lot in the dark, risking breaking your legs or running into bastards, but calling a cab.
Self-love begins with overcoming pain.
More specifically, with admitting that it hurts.
Admitting that you are vulnerable.
That you are not all-powerful.
That you are only responsible for yourself and your reactions.
But you are not responsible for the hysterics of the boss, for the bad mood of her husband, for the old women's gossip at the door and the resentment of girlfriends.
And you can make your own decision whether to stay in it or leave it. And remember that any decision you make is right for you, but it can be wrong for others.
And then comes the realization that I've changed, but there will be no bonuses for that.
And there will be no miracles.
It will be just as scary, painful, sometimes tough.
But it's within my power to make sure that in this reality around me, I live happily.
Self-love does not make us invulnerable, it will not protect us from disease, war, natural disasters, bad days, failed projects.
Self-love is just an airbag that will help us survive in case of an emergency, but which you don't have to remember every minute, the main thing is that you have it.